Anandi’s Friendship Agreement

Hello Non-friends!

This is the Chapter 1 of the ‘Friendship Agreement’ that prospective friends need to read-through and accept if they wish to have comradeship with the creator of this agreement. Based on your performance in the preliminary assessment period* you may be upgraded from ‘friend’ to ‘All-Weather Friend’ to ‘Super Friend’**

The following are compulsory articles of the friendship agreement (I shall refer to myself as the ‘creator’ short for ‘creator of this agreement’ for quick reading and narcissistic purposes):

1)      You must pick-up and drop the creator from and at Mambalam or any other train station she may be coming or going to, while visiting you for ‘hanging out’ purposes with your ungrateful self. The creator cannot drive.No fun shall be made of this.

2)      Preferably one arm distance or a distance of 10 centimeters should be maintained with the creator since she does not like to be ‘koochikoed’.

3)      The creator is by now shocked that her first 2 articles sound a lot like Sheldon Cooper’s but she is going to be extremely chill about it. She suggests that you play along.

4)      The creator will always take care and responsibility of your irresponsible selves during times of alcohol induced frivolity. However, when the time comes (if it comes) you MUST ensure she ingests butter milk at the Chennai International Airport.

5)      The following articles will have subdivisions:

PART I

Life Approaches

a) If you consider yourself to be an individual with a ‘mind of your own’ or in other words ‘mind-of-its-own’, you may come to the creator seeking advice that you would not like to heed but need.

b) If you consider yourself to be a very ‘sane and responsible’ person, you shall not expect the creator to become a friend of yours in such a delusional state of mind.

PART II

             
Food Intake

a)      During events of congenial food intake, the creator shall not entertain the placement of one’s hand on the creator’s plate, no matter how swift the movement of food between plates maybe.

b)      The clinking of ladles and vessels shall not be encouraged. You may contact the creator’s brother, for such sound effects.

c)       A love for food at any place and at all times is a non-negotiable entity. You must erase the word ‘diet’ from memory.

PART III

Social

a)      To respect the creator’s anti-social tendencies is also a non-negotiable entity.b)      The creator may not pick up phone calls or respond to messages; this does not mean that you are not valued as a friend. This means you are a whiny person.

This encapsulates Chapter 1 of the friendship agreement. Chapter 2 of the agreement discusses other aspects in detail. This shall be shared soon.

For a complete reading of ‘Anandi’s Friendship Agreement’ leave a mail at anuthisismyid@gmail.com.

* The duration of the preliminary assessment period will be kept secretive due to selfish purposes

** Super Friend: A rare achievement that has been unlocked by a very few but extremely grateful individuals

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